‘If you don’t keep an eye on her, she will get into the kitchen’: Woman spoils 40 pounds of tomatoes, gets banned from her SIL’s house

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Mar 24, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Tomatoes: what can't they do? They're the perfect food for making a BLT on a hot summer day. And for those cold winter nights, you can do what this chef did, and cook up a big pot of sauce. This person apparently also goes big or goes home, because she decided to cook up 40 pounds of tomatoes in one sitting. That's well over 100 tomatoes—her recipe could've had 120 tomatoes or more, depending on their size.

If you're an experienced chef, making meals in huge batches is a great way to save time. Sure, it might take a whole day now, but it'll save dozens of hours in the future, since there will be no need to shop for sauce or make it day of. This home chef, who goes by u/Strong-Emu7954, writes that she put all of the tomatoes into a giant pot on the stove, and left it to simmer. She's a braver chef than I, because what if she had put in too much salt, or burnt the bottom of the pan? Then she'd be out 40 whole pounds of tomatoes. Well… this woman actually doesn't have to try that hard to imagine, as she detailed below in a post to r/AmItheA******.

After you check out her story, read about the new father who is worried that following a podcast's advice has ruined his marriage forever. 

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  • 01
    elin
    via Soroush Karimi on Unsplash
  • 02
    AITA for banning my SIL from my house over tomato sauce?
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 03
    I(28F) have an older brother(32M), he is married to SIL(33F). I get along with her well, except for this one point: if you don't keep an eye on her, she will get into the kitchen, and add seasonings to whatever is cooking. She thinks she is fixing stuff, but not all foods need turmeric in it.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 04
    This saturday, I received 40lbs of tomatoes, it took me the whole weekend to turn it into a sauce that I was planning to can. I can it plain, then add whatever seasonings and herbs it needs, depending on the recipe.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 05
    They came to take a bag of spare clothes for one of their kids, and in the 5 minutes it took me to get it, she managed to get into the kitchen, add salt, pepper, turmeric, olive oil, garlic powder and italian herbs to all 5 of the pots that were simmering on the stove.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 06
    And when I told asked her what she was doing, she had the audacity to say "this sauce needed some taste, I added it for you". Like I've never told her to not touch what I was cooking before.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 07
    I was so angry that I knew I couldn't be calm talking with her. So I simply walked to my brother, told him to take the clothes and his wife, and that she is no longer welcome in my house.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 08
    She had followed me, was shocked, started apologizing, but I just ignored her. I added that he should come by tomorrow to take the sauce his wife ruined, because otherwise it would be thrown away, and that I expected 40lbs of replacement tomatoes.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 09
    They left, he came back with the tomatoes, an apology letter from her, and an apology carrot cake (my fav). But I told him that I stand by my decision.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 10
    Now my parents got involved, since I am the one that usually hosts, and since she is not allowed in my house, I told them to make alternate plans for Memorial day.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 11
    My husband says that I am in the right, but my parents say that my reaction is way overblown. So AITA?
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 12
    Edit: since there seems to be some confusion, I am not planning to host for memorial day and bot invite her, I said I am not hosting, my parents or my brother should host, and I will attend as a guest. I might be angey, but I don't want her excluded.
    via u/Strong-Emu7954
  • 13
    Successful_Duck_2459. So NTA. She's crossing boundaries, poking into something where she doesn't belong. There's all kinds of wrong with messing with someone else's cooking what if you - were making something for someone allergic to turmeric?
    via u/Successful_Duck_2459
  • 14
    Good on your brother for replacing the tomatoes, and on her for apologizing. That said, you're still in the right for banning her from the house, especially if that has happened multiple times and you have been clear with her that it's not acceptable.
    via u/Successful_Duck_2459
  • 15
    If you are thinking about letting her back in, I'd make sure the apology is a real apology first. Not "I'm sorry if your feelings were hurt", but something which takes responsibility for her actions. "I added seasoning to your giant tomato sauce project without asking; this was out of line and I shouldn't have done it. It's my fault, and I'm
    via u/Successful_Duck_2459
  • 16
    sorry. In the future, I'm planning to not enter your kitchen unless invited."
    via u/Successful_Duck_2459
  • 17
    KPinCVG Marinara flags everywhere!! ►►► I'll see myself out...
    via u/KPinCVG
  • 18
    Salt_Spray_Rose • NTA "I won't be hosting her anymore since CLEARLY she doesn't like my cooking. But I'm sure she and brother will be happy to host since she so eager to demonstrate her skills in the kitchen."
    via u/Salt_Spray_Rose
  • 19
    Affectionate Leave9 . NTA garlic is alkaline, that would entirely change the processing times to safely can the tomato sauce! she has no idea what she is messing with, the safety of your preserves for the next year!
    via u/Affectionate Leave9
  • 20
    You are entitled to hold to your boundary even after her apology. A cake is a nice gesture but by no means is it enough to buy your trust back.
    via u/Affectionate Leave9
  • 21
    HPNerd44 Who the heck walks into someone else's house and seasons 5 different pots?!?! NTA
    via u/HPNerd44
  • 22
    Needmoresnakes I'm also confused about olive oil was meant to do when the tomatoes are already boiling on the stove?
    via u/Needmoresnakes
  • 23
    [deleted] ⚫ Honestly I'm confused about the tumeric. I like tumeric, but it would never occur to me that anyone would want gallons of tumeric tomato sauce.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 24
    polywha ΝΤΑ It is never okay to add something to someone's food without their consent or knowledge.
    via u/polywha
  • 25
    HeddyL2627 NTA. I'm so glad you discovered that she ruined a days work before you canned that mess! Who does that??!! I don't know that I'd invite her back into my house again either.
    via u/HeddyL2627

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tomatoes aita cook cooking sister-in-law banned husband chef house visit
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